


Blue Healer

by Flavortext



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 21:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18351791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flavortext/pseuds/Flavortext
Summary: And now I stand tallUsed to think my sorrow was a brick wallMade me want to curl up in a tight ballSelf-pity dealerBut there’s a gate hereYou can only find it if you wait hereNow I’m walkin’ through it with my gaze clearMe and the Blue Healer(Blue Healer - birdtalker)





	Blue Healer

**Author's Note:**

> no betas we die like men (w many typos)
> 
> (if you point them out nicely I will fix them)

There is a mirror above the bed in Scanlan’s room in Whitestone, just like in the Mansion. She doesn’t remember until she’s lying there, after a tumble of limbs and stolen kisses, both of them too tired after the celebratory “we’re together” dinner with Vox Machina (and Pike smiles, nose scrunching up) to take it any further. Scanlan seems to already be asleep, curled against her side with his head resting on her shoulder. She can see her hand where it’s resting on his ribcage, a bit bruised from their battles in Pandemonium. The candle lights flicker and the yellowing of his skin (so much darker after his time in Ank’arel, so much time apart) seems sickly green. She pours a healing spell into him almost on reflex, and he stirs against her. She holds her breath until he relaxes again, his hand migrating to rest on her stomach. She breathes slowly, then, watching it rise and fall. 

Her hair is white against the dark purple of his sheets, and she can’t shake how out of place she feels. She squeezes her eyes shut and reaches blindly for the blanket, pulling it up over her and Scanlan, but all that does when she opens them is constrain her world to a reflection of their heads in a sea of purple. Pike breathes. 

Somewhere between breaths, she falls asleep because morning comes and she awakes to Scanlan’s lips gently against the corner of her mouth. She opens her eyes, makes a noise as he starts to pull away from her, and pulls him back. 

“Okay, I heard them call that breakfast was ready, but kissing is okay too-” Scanlan cracks a smile against her lips as she kisses him properly, propped up on her elbows and she almost forgets the mirror until the silk sheets slip out from under her and she crashes down, Scanlan a warm weight on her chest. She watches her face as he peppers kisses to her jaw and neck, a blush creeping up to her cheeks until she’s giggling and pushing him away, tearing her eyes away from the ceiling to look at him properly. Scanlan smiles softly, reaching up to cup her face. 

“Good morning.” She says, properly sitting up this time. 

“It is.” Scanlan mirrors her but doesn’t try and leave the bed this time, just sits with his knees knocking against hers. “You’re sad.” He says after a moment. Pike frowns. 

“I’m not,” She says, and it’s a lie, but not  _ much _ of one, she thinks. She’s happy to be here, with him, she’s...distracted, not used to looking at herself after all this time with only scattered moments between battles to take in her reflection. Scanlan sighs and takes her hands. 

“You don’t have to tell me, but I’m here, for you. We’re all a little broken still.” Scanlan runs his thumbs over her knuckles, brings them to his lips and kisses them one at a time. Pike shakes herself out of her thoughts. 

“Thank you, Scanlan.” She switches the positions of their hands and kisses  _ his _ knuckles, which brings on a dopey smile and has her heart soaring.

“Your hair...” Scanlan touches a lock that’s falling over her shoulder, still slightly dyed blue from their vacation, which feels like so, so long ago. 

“Dalen’s Closet. We’ll take you some time.” She smiles at the memory, making a mental note to send another Sending spell to Tary, she hasn’t told him about her and Scanlan yet, she knows he’ll be thrilled for her. 

“I’d like that.” Scanlan hums softly, then finally removes himself from the bed, stretching and sifting around in his wardrobe for a shirt. Pike follows him, finding her discarded clothing and putting it on piece by piece, the lightness of the cloth after so long in full armor still foreign on her skin. Her gauntlets are on the bedposts, she doesn’t remember doing that but it makes her smile, and she puts them on, breathing in the familiar surge of strength. Scanlan smiles at her from the doorway, hair pulled back in a little bun now. Pike touches her own hair, frowns. 

“Would you do something, for me?” She asks. 

“Anything,” Scanlan says softly. 

“I’m not hungry just yet, can you ask Vex to come up once she’s eaten?” Pike sits on the mattress scratching at the silk sheets. Scanlan nods, comes over and kisses the top of her head, and shuts the door softly behind himself. Pike leans back and looks at herself in the mirror. 

After she died and was brought back, she spent a long time staring at her reflection. Every second she could, really. The rest of them almost made fun of her, she’d never cared much about her appearance before. Scanlan surprisingly had done it the least, even come to her at one point and offered to try to dye it back to black for her. She’d said no, it was fine, she even liked it! And she got used to it eventually, on the ocean she kept it tied back and out of the way and hardly ever had time to look in a mirror, and once she was back things had simmered down to a level of comfort with her appearance that she only did a small double take when looking in mirrors now. 

But all that her brain could think now was how Vax wouldn’t get that chance. 

Pike grits her teeth and pushes back tears. She’d said, towards the end, that the Raven Queen would have to get through her to get to him. And what had she done? Consoled him in his last moments? Stood by and watched as he disappeared from their lives forever? Nothing? 

There were footsteps in the hall. Pike wipes angrily at her eyes, cursing under her breath, and sits up on the bed. The door squeaked open. 

“Stay there, good boy,” Vex says to Trinket over her shoulder, sliding in and shutting the door softly behind her. Pike pushes through the fog in her brain and puts on a smile. 

“What’s wrong, Pike?” Curse Vex, she could always see through the rest of them. Pike slouches in on herself a bit and pats the bed beside her. Vex tucks her hair behind her ears and sits. 

“Do you remember-” Pike bites her lip and takes a steadying breath. “Do you remember how Vax would do my hair?” Pike forces herself not to close her eyes, to watch every muscle shift across Vex’s face into a sad smile. 

“Of course, I do.” Vex gently reaches out to Pike, touching where her white hair changed to faded blue as Scanlan had. “Do you want me to...?” Pike nods quickly, glad to not have to ask out loud.

“He called ‘em ‘fun buns’.” Pike draws her legs up to her chest and turns her back to Vex, digging through the drawer next to Scanlan’s bed for hair ties. She passes them back to Vex and curls in on herself. 

“I remember.” Pike steals a glance to see Vex’s smile. The half-elf gently runs her fingers through Pike’s hair, straightening out a few tangles before she starting to part it and prepare to tie it up. 

“How are things going?” Vex asks conversationally. Pike huffs.  

“Oh, you know...” She shrugs. Vex chuckles. 

“With Scanlan, then?” She finishes tying up the left side of Pike’s hair, tugging at a few strands to keep them in place. 

“Good! I mean, weird, and slow. He’s so careful with me, he wants to do this all proper and I mean, it’s nice but- don’t laugh!” Pike looks over her shoulder as Vex giggles. “I just mean, he’s trying to woo me and I keep having to remind him he’s already done that.” Pike sighs and turns away again, letting Vex finish the second bun in silence. 

“I’m happy for you two. You especially, you deserve this happiness.” Vex pats Pike’s shoulder and moves back a bit. 

“It’s really hard to feel happy.” Pike bites her lip and turns back around. 

“It is.” Vex doesn’t try to elaborate, and Pike takes a moment to pick her next words. 

“I built something, in the woods.” Okay, not the most eloquent.

“Oh?” Vex tilts her head. 

“For him, for Vax. A memorial.” Pike squeezes her fists. “I’d like to show you it.” 

“Okay.” Vex smiles, sad but genuine, and touches Pike’s shoulder again. “You know, if Scanlan steps one toe out of line, none of us will hesitate to beat the shit out of him. Just say the word.” She says. Pike laughs, tilting forward to wrap her arms around Vex’s middle. 

“He won’t, but I appreciate it. I love you guys.” Pike breathes in Vex’s smell, earth overshadowed by perfume and the hint of whatever was being served for breakfast, so different than Vax’s dried herbs and dust. Pike gives the best hug she can for a moment before releasing her. 

“Okay, thank you. Let’s do that later, I’m hungry.” Vex nods, touching the bun on one side of her head to adjust it a bit. 

“I’m not sure I did as good a job as he would have-” She says before Pike cuts her off.

“I didn’t want you to do what he would have done. I just- I wanted- I wanted to remember. You’re you, and you’re here with us. Maybe later we can come up with a thing that’s just for us, but this was a good memory, that we can share.” Pike nods to herself as she rambles. 

“I did once hug you naked, that could be our thing,” Vex says offhandedly, poking Pike’s side as she stands. 

“Hmm-” Pike tries to sound serious but dissolves into giggles at another well-aimed poke. 

“I’m not calling you pickle, that’s weird.” 

“Okay, thank you.” Pike gets up, adjusting her gauntlets and slipping on her shoes as she follows Vex out the door. Trinket grumbles and get’s to his feet nuzzling into Pike as she reaches out to scratch behind his ears. Vex waits up for the two of them at the top of the stairs, and they head down to an already rowdy breakfast table together. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments much appreciated!!


End file.
